Categories: How-Tos, Kids, Picky Eaters, Toddlers

Kids & Food: Creating a Positive Relationship

Even for kids, a healthy relationship with food can sometimes be challenging to build. Fundamentally, eating is about getting the proper nutrients to fuel and energize our bodies, and kids eat to grow, learn, and thrive. Making healthy food choices early on supports a child’s diet, helps kids develop good habits, and can benefit their future health. And don’t forget that family meals can be fun! Themed family meals or cooking together can turn eating into a social activity that brings loved ones closer.

Every child approaches eating differently, and as a parent, you may need to try various techniques before your child begins to form lasting healthy habits. From mindful eating practices to offering nutritious snacks and good nutrition that contribute to well-being, there are many ways to guide food choices that create a positive, sustainable approach to eating. Here are a few guidelines to help nurture a healthy relationship with food in your home.

Set a Healthy Relationship by Being a Good Role-Model

Kids will pick up cues from their parents and caregivers, so it’s especially important that adults model a healthy relationship with food. Set an example by eating healthfully, the way you’d like your child to eat lots of vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and fresh fruit. If your child sees you enjoying brown rice, salmon, and a hearty serving of steamed vegetables, they’ll be more open to those foods, too. Involving them in cooking and food shopping can also help kids develop a stronger connection to healthy choices and expand their willingness to try diverse and new foods.

You can create a positive mealtime environment by leading by example. During family dinners, listen to your own hunger cues and talk about them with your child. How do you know when you’re hungry or when you’re full? If you’re always going for seconds before finishing your vegetables, your child may copy that behavior. Discuss what you’re eating and why: vegetables provide fiber, vitamins, and minerals that support a child’s health, while lean proteins and poultry plant proteins help muscle development.

Help Kids Develop Healthy Relationships With Food Through Awareness of Hunger and Fullness

The clean plate strategy often doesn’t support positive eating development. Instead, focus on helping kids develop an understanding of their own hunger and fullness cues. Encourage them to eat regular meals and avoid pushing them to finish every bite, since this can lead to less mindful food behaviors.

Remind your child that it’s okay to stop eating when they feel full, even if there are snacks still on the plate. Introduce variety by offering meals or new dishes that include entire food groups they might not normally choose. Simple habits like chewing thoroughly and avoiding skipping meals can make a big difference in their planned routine meal patterns, supporting their growth and long-term well-being.

Why Using Food as a Reward Can Harm a Healthy Relationship With Food

When trying to build a healthy relationship with food for kids, it may be tempting to offer dessert or another treat, but it’s best to limit food rewards. This habit can lead to less balanced behaviors and shift focus away from the nutritious parts of a child’s diet. Using candy or other junk food as motivation can also increase their desire for those foods, making them seem more valuable than vegetables.

A better approach is to present vegetables and other diverse new foods regularly, without pressure. You might serve them as an appetizer before meals, or prepare them in creative ways that help kids develop a taste for them. Encouraging your child to help with grocery shopping or preparation can make them more excited to try new flavors. You can also include healthy sides like calcium-rich snacks or structured snacks during the day to maintain balance and support their overall well-being.

Break the Link Between Activities and Unhealthy Treats to Support a Child’s Health

Children can quickly start to associate outings and milestones with snacks or sugary rewards. Instead of reinforcing that link, offer alternatives that support their overall well-being. For example, after a dull afternoon at a major grocery store, consider a fun reward like extra playtime, favorite kid-friendly recipes, or allowing them to choose a new recipe (dairy-free, for example) to try together.

Help them plan meals in advance so they look forward to what’s already on the menu. When possible, talk openly about your plans: let your child know that the usual treat will be skipped or saved for another time. This not only helps reduce reliance on snack food items but also promotes more mindful eating and reduces family food issues related to expectations and routine habits.

Teach Children That All Foods Can Fit and How Good Nutrition Contributes to Wellness

It’s tempting to label foods as “good,” “bad,” “healthy,” or “unhealthy,” but evaluating food isn’t black and white. All food can be incorporated into a healthful diet; the key is portion control. Show kids that high quality foods, such as vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and lean proteins, should be consumed more often. Less healthy foods like candy and movie popcorn can be incorporated into the diet, just less frequently.

When it does come time for a treat, enjoy it! Recognize that treats can be a part of your family’s diet, as long as they are enjoyed in moderation. If you make something completely off-limits, your kid may desire it more. Encouraging moderation can actually prevent your child from binging on treats and junk food at parties or during the holidays.

Not All Meals Should Be Perfect

It’s OK to have pizza night. It’s OK to have a birthday cake at a friend’s or family member’s celebration. It’s OK to indulge from time to time. Just keep portions and frequency in moderation, and make sure to promote meals that are healthy.  

You’re teaching your child a lifetime of healthy eating habits, which starts with how they approach their plate. When you model healthy eating, create a positive mealtime environment, and have open communication, your child will develop healthy eating habits and a positive relationship with food.

healthy kids meals

Lara Field

Lara has been working with Nurture Life since its inception, collaborating with the culinary team on the creation of all menus and recipes to ensure they are nutritionally appropriate and correctly proportioned for every age and stage of a child’s development and providing pediatric nutrition expertise to Nurture Life customers. Lara is the owner/founder of FEED—Forming Early Eating Decisions, a nutrition consulting practice specializing in pediatric nutrition and digestive diseases. Lara has over a decade of experience in clinical practice at two of the top ranked pediatric hospitals in the country, Lurie Children’s Hospital and University of Chicago Medical Center. Lara received her B.S. from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and M.S. and dietetic internship from Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, Illinois. Lara truly enjoys the process of eating (and feeding!), from procuring the ingredients at various grocery stores and farmers markets, to organizing her pantry/refrigerator at home to make it easy to select healthy options, to preparing balanced meals with her children. Whether it be a decadent treat to a hearty, home-cooked meal, there is no greater satisfaction for Lara than enjoying food with her family.

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